It’s a Bird, It’s a Plane, It’s a Cell Phone!

My laments on never owning a cell phone have finally got the best of me – I am the not-so-proud-but-broke-down-because-it-was-totally-necessary owner of my very own cell phone.  After taking a few photos and listening to how irritating I could be with the ring tones, I put it on the table and there it sits.  Menancingly.  [...]

Happy Eve!

Ah, another 11 hour workday and still all is fine.  The mall was completely crowded with men, only men, still out trying to find that special last minute something.  Do diamonds make it all better?  Does lingerie?  And which motivates more?
Two glorious days off coming up!!!  No mall on boxing day, no fighting the people [...]

The Portrait of a Lady – Henry James

I’ve started reading ahead for the second half of my early American literature course that begins in January, and this book is first up on the agenda.  This monster book.  This humongous, horrible, boring, boring book. 
Now Henry James wasn’t my favourite author of last semester and frankly, I was pretty glad that he was the [...]

Kin Hubbard

Next to a circus there ain’t nothing that packs up and tears out faster than the Christmas spirit.

What Ever Happened to Sledding?

Making my tour de force of the South Centre mall for the 45th time in the last three weeks (you think they would have awarded me a yellow jersey by now…), I’ve noticed that people, myself included, have tended to replace certain traditions for others.  For instance, when I was younger, Christmas break meant sledding, [...]

#528

The nest time someone tells me to ‘lift with my knees’ I’m putting the box between my legs and squawk like a chicken.

Nikolai Gogol

It is no use to blame the looking glass if your face is awry.

Back on the Line Haul

Bad weather this morning and a room full of training drivers equals me back working on the line haul/semi moving my butt around the mall selivering goodies to all the ingrates.
Seriously.
I am not an animal!  I do not want to move your 42 packages from here to here to here when the last person said [...]

Bill Nye

The more you find out about the world, the more opportunities there are to laugh at it.

Crowded Rooms

We looked in all the rooms,
and they were all crowded
for every time we moved
we became the crowded room. 

We looked at one another

(longer than intended)
and in the space between us
there was no one in the way.